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Character Psychology: The Imago

The imago is, essentially, an image that was planted in your character’s mind (during their early years of vital brain development) about how the world -- and relationships -- work. Your character’s experiences with their primary caregivers and environment during their childhood and early adolescence shape not only their opinions, but their actual nervous system, which is adapting to its environment in order to figure out what it needs to survive.


Even when circumstances change later in life, this ‘programming’ of the imago will still play a role in how your character reacts to things on a physiological and emotional level. Even if on an intellectual and logical level your character is able to adjust to new circumstances or environments, adjustments on the emotional and physiological level generally are more difficult and take more time, effort, and awareness to address. Your character may even subconsciously seek out people and circumstances that fit their imago, even if it brings them pain or suffering, since it will adhere to the rules that their nervous system believes to be true about the world and the nature of relationships. Things that don’t fit the imago will often, at least at first, feel foreign, odd, or difficult to believe.


For an example, think of some simple ‘truth’ that someone might believe, such as: If I’m being ignored, it’s because I’m not worthy of attention. Or: If I have an argument with someone, we have to end our relationship, because disagreements aren’t solvable. None of these things are true in an objective sense, but they often feel so true that the person holding the belief doesn’t know the difference. Most often, these beliefs are based on what was true at the time when they were forming their view of the world -- e.g. A parent or sibling really was impossible to resolve conflict with -- and then carry those beliefs onward even after that circumstance under which the belief was formed no longer exists. However, the body will still send signals that reinforce these beliefs. Anxiety, increased heart rate, tightness in the chest, a pit in the stomach -- physical feelings that we trust to tell us that something is wrong, or something is true. These responses are often programmed by the imago.


Let’s take two characters, X and Y, and think about some of the things they may have learned in different sorts of environments that formed their own specific imagos.


From his upbringing, let’s say character X has learned:


  • That worth is based on performance -- if you’re not performing, you need to be trying harder in order to be worthy.

  • That adhering to traditional values is important -- more important than your own feelings, in most cases, and consequently, more important than the feelings of others as well.

  • That your family is a solid pillar of support, even in times of conflict and disagreement -- they will be there for you.

  • That anger is a way to show you really care, and is a normal reaction to difficulties.


Now, let’s contrast that against what Y might believe as a result of her own imago:


  • That there’s few consequences for offenses -- people who love you won’t really ever be upset at you.

  • That jokes and dismissive comments are an effective way of deflecting emotional pain and difficult topics.

  • That difficult topics are to be avoided at all costs, because conflict isn’t resolvable.

  • That anyone who demands better behavior from you simply doesn’t ‘get’ you, who doesn’t understand your pains or frustrations, isn’t worth your time.

  • That worth is based on being -- you love someone for who they are, not what they do.


Let’s say these two end up in connection with one another; a relationship, or colleagues, friends, what have you. At first they may admire one another, seeing qualities in the other that they lack. But looking at the lists above a bit closer, one can see pretty clearly how in the long-term, there’s a lot of potential for misunderstanding between the two of them. Let’s say they get into a disagreement about something important -- how are they going to approach their latest project, or how are they going to raise their daughter?


X starts getting angry when Y expresses an opposing philosophy -- after all, there’s only one right way to do things, he thinks. Y makes a joke to deflect the anger. X thinks Y doesn’t take this seriously -- doesn’t taken him seriously. Y thinks X must not really care about her all that much to let something so small become so big. X sees Y’s willfulness as a reflection of his own weakness and inability to conduct his family/project properly, so he needs to try harder, and doubles down in the argument. Y sees X’s focus on details and appearances as completely missing the point, feels misunderstood, and withdraws from any possibility of resolution. Suddenly, things aren’t quite so rosy.


As an author, you have the option to lean into this conflict as part of an accurate representation of your character’s truth, rather than try to avoid or fix it right away (though certainly your character might attempt to do that). Not too many characters are going to have enough perspective on themselves to identify their own misheld beliefs on their own -- because these are things they simply believe to be true, on a deep and subconscious level, and probably won’t be called into question unless something happens that makes them call it into question.


Not everyone is willing or able to question their imago, but possible next step in the arc of this relationship would be an event in which these deeply-held beliefs might be called into question. Young characters are more likely to be in the early stages of this process, or to not have encountered it before -- older characters may have (though not necessarily) already gone through part or most of it, depending on their past. Not every set of imagos leads to conflict -- some are more complementary than others, and some challenge one another more than others.


One of the basic tenets of the imago philosophy is that when your character does encounter conflict, it’s challenging them in an area they haven’t questioned before, or might need to grow. Whether or not this growth happens -- and how -- is all part of your character’s story, but hopefully thinking about the details of their imago will help give you further understanding of the types of difficulties they might encounter as a human being seeking (or avoiding, in some cases) connection with others.



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