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  • Writer's picturePyralis

Maintaining OOC Perspective (AKA, the Self Insertion Problem)

In roleplay, there are two main perspectives that influence the story: in-character and out-of-character. Naturally, in-character (or IC) are the actions, words, thoughts, feelings, etc. that are coming from the character being written. Out-of-character (or OOC) are the thoughts, words, etc. of the author or writer (you!).


It’s usually easy to determine which parts of the roleplay are IC and OOC, as there’s typically a difference in format or platform that makes the distinction obvious. However, there often remain unseen emotional ties between the author and their character. To feel something as a result of reading a compelling story is one of the goals of storytelling, something we are accustomed to experiencing when consuming, books, movies, television shows, or other types of story-media.


However, being an author as well as an intended audience creates unique challenges in roleplay. You are both creating and reacting to the world that you are writing in, and it’s not unusual for the line between creation and reaction to become a bit blurred, sometimes resulting in creative dissonances both within the story and in OOC interactions. This sort of blurring is broadly referred to as ‘self insertion’, and it can manifest in many different ways, a few of which are outlined below.


Many roleplayers have encountered the term ‘self-insertion’ before and take it to mean writing a character that bears too much resemblance to the author (such as sharing interests, background, or even a name). While having too much in common between author and character can commonly be a symptom of self-insertion, it is not the root cause -- one can self-insert even with a character that seems quite different from the author on the surface, and one can successfully not self-insert with a character that has many similarities as long as the author is practicing proper IC/OOC separation.


Strong Emotional Reaction for a Character’s Sake


When something happens in the story that creates a strong emotional reaction, writers can occasionally fall prone to writing their reaction into their next post (into the creation part of the story) and end up causing their character (or the setting itself) to act in ways that are more in accordance with the author’s feelings or desires than with the character’s (or the world’s written constraints). This often leaves holes in the plot or incongruities in character motivations.


One example of this might be:

You are writing a character that has an inherently risky occupation, such as a warrior or a spy. During the course of the story, your character is likely to be confronted with dangers that are par for the course in their line of work; perhaps they are fatally outnumbered in battle, or their cover has been blown. However, when this moment comes, you find yourself feeling viscerally concerned for your character’s wellbeing -- almost as if you, the author, were also at risk. Not wanting your character to suffer harm (either physically or socially), you write them making an escape, perhaps even involving something unlikely such as guards falling asleep or an important document being accidentally destroyed. After your character escapes, you feel relieved, as if you had narrowly avoided danger. However, this miraculous escape often seems unrealistic or unbelievable as part of the story.


An alternative, more constructive way to handle this scenario would be:

Consider which sorts of scenarios you are comfortable with out of character when choosing occupations for your character. If the idea of your character facing certain risks without the guarantee of a ‘successful’ outcome causes you OOC anxiety, then it may be better to choose occupations that more closely align with the type of story elements you feel comfortable playing out for them, at least to begin with.


If you are committed to the occupation you’ve chosen for your character as part of their concept, this a good place to start practicing increased identity-separation as an author. Take some time to slow down and identify which feelings belong to you, and which feelings would belong to your character. If your character is a seasoned veteran of their trade and has been in this position many times before, they’re much less likely to be experiencing feelings of fight-or-flight than a character who is still learning the ropes or never experienced the problem at hand before.


This is not an inherently intuitive process for everyone, so give yourself time and forgiveness when learning to separate! It can sometimes be helpful to let your partner know where you are at if you need some extra support. You might try saying, “Hey, I’m having a pretty strong emotional reaction to this scene and need a little extra time to consider my character’s response.” or “I’m struggling with figuring out what the options for my character are in this scene, feeling a little boxed in -- do you have time to discuss some ideas?”


Upon discussion with your partner, you might discover that your character losing the battle (or being pursued for legal action) are viable alternatives that not only don’t ruin your character’s storyline, but can offer interesting opportunities for your character and the storyline as a whole. You may also discover that your character making an escape is a viable option that you want to pursue, but the extra effort put into considering how their escape will make sense helps relieve the emotional urgency attached to the escape in the first scenario, leaving you less likely to overlook plot holes that might arise in pursuit of that specific outcome.



A second example of this might be:

Your character is presented with a choice which has social and moral consequences. OOC, it feels very clear to you what the ‘right’ thing to do in this situation is, and so that is what you write your character doing. The thought of your character acting any other way in this situation makes you feel repulsed.


A dissonance can exist if this choice goes against morals or worldviews that your character has expressed in the past, or is in direct conflict with the morals and worldviews of your character’s culture or society (without having previously established and justified this deviation as part of the character). If your partner points out this dissonance to you, you may even find yourself feeling defensive of your character’s present actions, as if your partner were attacking your own sense of morals.


An alternative, more constructive way to handle this scenario would be:

If you feel an urgent sense of morality come up for you in a scene, try expressing those feelings OOC to yourself before you start crafting your response post. It may sound silly, but it can be helpful to affirm aloud to yourself those sentiments such as ‘Wow, that’s horrible!’ or “Oh god, sooooo grosssss,” the way you might if you were watching a television show.


Now that you’ve identified and taken ownership of your own OOC feelings, it should be easier to imagine that your character can act in a way that’s against what you believe to be right -- you still get to have your own sense of morality even if your character’s is different, just the same way that you still get to believe that murder is wrong even if you watch a television show in which a character commits murder (or you can still believe that peanut butter is gross even if you read a book in which the main character loves peanut butter sandwiches).


Many people feel morally responsible for their characters, and can struggle to identify enough with a character that would make different moral choices that they can write them believably. It’s perfectly acceptable to acknowledge your own limitations and voice these to your partner (and yourself!) as you’re beginning your roleplay. This can help you choose a setting which makes sense for your own sense of comfort, and help you avoid unintentionally writing a character who says one thing in theory and then does another in practice.



A third example of this might be:

A character that your partner has written has captivated you OOC -- you find them creative, appealing, and want to deepen your character’s ties to this character. You decide that your character should ‘adopt’ this character, either literally as a guardian or figuratively as a mentor (or vice versa, where you arrange for your own character to be ‘adopted’ by the one you admire).


An alternative, more constructive way to handle this scenario would be:

Your OOC feelings of admiration towards your partner’s character can exist in all their full glory -- in the OOC environment. If your partner is comfortable with OOC chatter, express your feelings in conversation with them! Tell them what you like about how the character is written, how you felt a certain post they wrote was compelling, or your sense of empathy towards what their character has experienced. When these feelings have an appropriate landing place, they are less likely to cloud your judgement about how your character relates to theirs.


Legal adoption in the IC world should be treated with the same careful consideration that adoption is treated with in real life -- after all, the story is your character’s real life. There is really only a narrow scope of scenarios in which adoption would be an appropriate relationship outside of a minor who is in need of a legal guardian and a non-minor who is in a position to (and has the desire to) provide legal guardianship. Legal guardianship entails so much more than just an emotional bond.


Non-legal types of ‘adoption’ (such as creating a mentor/mentee relationship) do offer more flexibility in terms of what is appropriate, but it is important to consider the context of the world that your characters are in -- as well as their backstories -- when deciding whether these types of relationship arcs make sense for them. Just as you most likely didn’t go out into the world, happen to chance upon a biologist, become enamoured with them, and then ask them to be your college professor, it’s unlikely that your character would do the same.


But most of all, simply remembering that your characters don’t have to have some sort of irreversible IC bond in order for you to ‘justify’ or somehow solidify your OOC enjoyment of your partner’s character should take some of the pressure off!



Feeling Personally Offended by a Character’s Actions


Even if the author is able to keep their own feelings from dictating the actions of their character or direction of the story, they may subconsciously perceive something that their partner writes into the story as being personally targeted at themselves, or somehow representative of their co-author’s OOC feelings or perspectives rather than those of the characters.


One example of this might be:

A partner’s character makes a critical remark to your character. Your character reacts according to the conventions of the setting and their personality, but as an author you begin to fear that your partner considers your character (or you) annoying or incorrect in some way. When you and your partner have your next OOC conversation, you are 1) apologetic and extra accomodating to anything they suggest for fear that they are unhappy in the RP, and/or 2) you find yourself feeling defensive (of either yourself or your character) and less open to their OOC suggestions or discussions.


An alternative, more constructive way to handle this scenario would be:

When you feel fear of OOC judgement from your partner begin to rise, allow your partner the opportunity to voice their true intentions rather than proceeding as if the fear were truth. You might make an inquiry to your partner along the lines of: “I’m feeling a little uncertain about my previous post, can you clarify for me whether my character violated some rule that I’m not aware of, or why your character made that comment?” This leaves space for your partner to potentially explain that their character’s criticism was on account of their character’s own personality -- perhaps what your character did is considered rude in a different culture, or perhaps their character engages in criticism as their own defensive mechanism.


If your character has done something that would warrant a critical reaction, your partner can then explain how what your character did appeared to warrant the reaction, creating more opportunities for you to learn about how your character’s actions are perceived by others. And remember: your character being at fault IC isn’t necessarily a bad thing OOC! Some of the most interesting parts of a roleplay can arise from a story hook created by a character making a mistake or misjudgement.


In general, a good place to start when interpreting the actions of your partner’s character is: their reactions generally speak more about their character than yours. That doesn’t mean that your character is always without fault, but the manner of their reaction will differ for different characters. Take moments of IC conflict as an opportunity to: 1) Learn something about your partner’s character’s personality, disposition, or past, and 2) open up the floor for communication and further story building between you and your partner.



Crossing OOC / IC Lines With Romance


Romance can be a particularly challenging aspect of roleplay when it comes to maintaining distinctions between OOC creation and reaction. Many authors are quite personally invested in whether their character enters into a relationship with their partner’s character in a roleplay. Difficulties can arise when the desire for a romantic relationship to exist supersedes the reality of the interactions that are occurring between the characters, or supercedes your partner’s own RP goals.


One example of this might be:

In an attempt to write a character which you believe will be appealing to your partner’s character, you give your character some sort of accolades or accomplishments that they mention in their first conversation. However, this comes off as braggy to your partner’s character, who consequently treats your character more coolly in the second conversation afterwards.


OOC, you may feel disappointed that things didn’t start off on a good foot between the characters, and want to do everything you can to move their relationship forward in spite of it. Despite your partner’s character’s coolness, you continue to write your character being interested in and trying to impress their character in the second conversation, and beyond -- you write your character feeling a sense of closeness and trust to your partner’s character over the course of the story, figuring that all that time they spend together must count as bonding, even though your partner’s character’s attitude towards yours never seems to warm up and the dynamic of the encounters never quite shifts.


It can sometimes feel as if a misunderstanding or missed connection between characters early on means that the interaction was ‘unsuccessful’ and therefore needs to be fixed or moved past in order to get back ‘on track’ or to the ‘good parts’. Unfortunately, this sort of outlook doesn’t leave much room for the reality of your partner’s character and their experience -- in fact, it erases them from the equation entirely since no matter how their character acts towards yours, it doesn’t seem to affect your perception of the story.


An alternative, more constructive way to handle this scenario would be:

Imagine that you are having a conversation with someone. During that conversation, you listen to what they are saying and ask questions accordingly, sometimes even relating what they are talking about to your own experiences or opinions. Now, imagine that every time you make a contribution to the conversation, the other person completely ignores what you said, refusing to ask you about yourself or acting as if something you had said simply didn’t exist. It’s likely that you would begin to feel frustrated and unseen if this keeps up, perhaps even want to quit the conversation entirely.


This is, essentially, what you are doing to your RP partner and their character in the above scenario -- not listening to them. Once we can relate a bit better to how our own actions and desires affect others, it can be easier to empathize with them and create a desire to make changes to include them more fully. Rather than try to move past the places where your partner’s character reacts in a different way than you desired, try to take a deep breath and sit with how their character actually reacted, and consider the possibilities of why that happened. This is where the opportunity for real interaction and relationship building begins!


Your character might have merely made a conversational misstep that doesn’t happen again, but still gives your partner’s character enough space to realize this on their own and show up for a deeper connection later on when they are ready to do so. Not every bump in the road has to be a fatal flaw, just as not every awkward pause in a real-life conversation will completely derail a potential friendship.


Or perhaps your character takes a more direct approach if that is in line with their personality, calling attention to the awkwardness and asking the other character about their opinion or experience. Perhaps you even decide to lean into your character having a flaw in being slightly tone-deaf or self-centered, which would help their original comment line up more with the whole picture of who they are. There are quite a few good options available to work with your partner rather than against them.


Additionally, consider increasing OOC communication with your partner as a way to clue them in on important details about your character rather than relying solely on the narrative or your character’s dialogue. Allowing yourself the freedom to share more in the OOC environment can help remove the temptation to have a character say or do something that they normally wouldn’t solely as a way of getting story information to your partner. Eventually it is possible to learn to communicate these things narratively in more subtle ways without explicit OOC explanations, but giving yourself more flexibility in OOC chatter can help you in the present as you learn to build new writing skills over time.


 

As a roleplayer, it can be helpful to spend time getting to know these two sides of the creation process. An author does not need to completely emotionally dissociate in order to maintain an appropriate creative distance from their character; rather, they simply need to identify which parts of the creative process these emotions are appropriate and useful to, and which parts are better acted on from a place or authorial intent rather than readerly reaction.


Many new roleplayers begin their journey with a high level of emotional investment in their story, character, or world, and learn how to balance their feelings with creative perspective through time and experience. Many misunderstandings between roleplayers arise as a result of making assumptions or jumping to conclusions rather than taking the time to ask important questions of their character, themselves, and their partner.


If you’re finding it challenging to separate the feelings of your character from your own OOC feelings in the moment that you’re writing, it can be helpful to do some solo exercises to help develop more of your character’s separate identity. This will help you by giving you insight into how your character might react to certain hypothetical situations outside of the moment in which you are actively reacting as a reader.


(A link to these exercises is coming soon!)



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